why can't i buy back my purity

why can't i buy back my purity the light and white weight of it as i purchase water or food the security of shelter is not all i desire i save myself from myself a dozen times a day but i am imperfect and grace does not dwell sustained in me my heart is a vessel for more words than actions deeds are decision but not the only ones considered a dream is a way to try a circumstance on for size see how it fits and waste not a way to seize the day